Steve Anderson

So, my first "best friend" died today.

I don't really know how to process this too well. Essentially, Steve was diagnosed with leukemia, and within 48 hours, he died. He was 33. He has a newborn at home. He got married just a few years ago. Julia and I got to see him and his wife Robin last summer, and they took us out in Nashville.

It's obviously not fair. That child will grow up not knowing that his father was a great, great guy. Steve won't have the luxury of being there to see his son find his own Dukes of Hazzard. Steve's parents have to put their own child in a grave next week. My mom is struggling with this a great deal too, as she and Sue are still great friends.

I struggle a great deal with death. I never know how to process it well. I think about how much that person meant to me, and how they impacted my life. But just like so many other people, tomorrow, or the next day, life goes on, and we lose the ability to have that person's life, or death, impact us in a way that it should.

So I'm trying to choose to celebrate what Steve meant to me. He was a great, great friend. From the moment we moved in to Orchard Downs in 1981, until he moved to San Antonio six or seven years later, we were best friends. His parents took me in a lot while my mom was working and doing her studies. In so many ways, he was more a brother for me than anything else. So many children of single parents struggle with the fact that their parent is gone a lot of the time. I never had to deal with that, because the Andersons took me in without question.

Steve and I would play catch, race big wheels, and yeah, we watched the Dukes of Hazzard every Friday night. I would delay going to my Dad's house specifically so I could watch it with Steve.

He played on my softball team when he came back here to the U of I to do some graduate studies. I got to go to his wedding in Atlanta a few years ago, just an incredible ceremony...

I don't know what else to say. Today I'm running a 5K. It's the first time I've been lucky enough to run a race since ripping up my hamstring last August. I have bitched and moaned about it, and so many other issues in that time. Meanwhile, a friend who I think so highly of, and impacted me in so many ways, thinks he's dealing with allergies for months...

I think over the last three or four years, I've done a very good job of making sure I focus on living in the moment, and celebrating the good things that happen. It's been a drastic change for me, as I know I can be an extremely negative person, and get bogged down when things don't go my way.

These are definitely the moments that reinforce that all the therapy, study, and personal work I've done have been for good reasons. To celebrate your good times. Remember that having enjoyable, laughable, romantic, emotional moments are so much more fulfilling than just complaining about your job, or how you didn't get enough sleep, or whatever. I have to remember that tonight, when I'm running that 5K, and my knees start to ache a little, or my hamstring feels like it's not 100% again. I'm here, I'm doing something that I love to do, and just focus on that.

I know I'll be fine. The initial shock of the last hour is the tough thing, along with the services in the next week or so. After that, the sting of loss goes away, and what you're left with are some wonderful memories of a kid who meant a lot to you then, and an adult who made an impact on so many.

So to his wife Robin, son Charlie, parents Sue and Charlie, and sister Kristen, I send my sincerest thoughts and love. I can't imagine the difficulty that the next week will bring. I wish I could do more to help ease it, although the knowledge that Steve meant so much to so many will comfort you in some way.

To Steve, thank you. You have been a great friend. I admire you in so many ways. We both dealt with some pretty difficult circumstances growing up, living in the Downs. It wasn't glamourous. But I think we both made the best of it, and had some spectacular times. I remember crying my eyes out at my Grandparents house the day you guys moved to San Antonio. Seeing you as an adult, and how you've matured, and become a great man...it's inspiring. You made quite an impact, and I will miss you.

To myself...focus, Mike, on things more important than yourself. You've done a great job of being better with this in the last few years. Try to continue to improve upon this. You have many large challenges facing you in the next couple of years. Tackle them, deal with their difficulty, and celebrate the experiences.

That's all.

Life has been a little hectic.

So, I moved. That's one thing. Julia and I have a house...which is nice, except for the fact that so far, we've dealt with the following:
1) lack of water
2) sewage coming through a toilet
3) uncleaned rooms
4) a plethora of dead bugs in her studio
5) Cats who are all pissed.

It's been tricky. I also fell down the stairs on Sunday, and may have torn something slightly in my left shoulder. Rough week. But we're getting through, and it's on to the next one.

I also have lots of thoughts about the Department of Justice and FBI seizing the domains of the 3 major poker sites. Fuck that. Excuse my language, but of all the things to worry about, you worry about that? These are companies that have been working hard to become legal so that the US can get a part of the profits...yes, while they increase their profits, but it would potentially mean BILLIONS to the government. And the FBI and DOJ step in? Ridiculous.
Regardless, it has made things much more difficult for me in terms of working on my hobby. Tony has found a site for us to play on, though, and we're working on getting some cash on there. Will keep you updated.

Zorbas.

I've been meaning to write this for a couple of days now...what happened at Zorbas really hit me pretty hard last week.

For those that don't know, a fire started in the apartment above Zorbas last week, and destroyed the top floors of the building that houses the restaurant, along with Zas and Pitaya on the first floor. Zorbas itself didn't burn down, neither did the other two businesses. But it was such a massive blaze that the water damage and smoke damage was extensive.

Last night, Matt Mortenson, the owner, and my boss for four years while I worked there, posted some pictures of the damage. It was hard to look at. Again, no actual fire damage, but the memorabilia on the wall....the floors....the walls...all just really in pretty bad shape.

I actually went over the day of the fire. If you follow me on twitter or facebook, I posted two pictures. It's hard to explain. Those four years, I met some of my closest friends, people I still get to talk to and hear from. It was amazing how many of them I reconnected with on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

A lot of people have offered Matt their support, although none of us can really do anything. He said during an interview with our morning show that he was staying positive, and was still cracking jokes.

And that's my lasting memory of Matt. Continuous positivity. He suffered through some very difficult times while I worked there, as he took over the business from the previous, longtime owner. Yet he stayed positive, focused on what he could control, and remembered that his family was his #1 priority at all times, and the business a close second.

The other thing I will always appreciate about Matt was his willingness to engage in a marketplace of ideas. Matt is a religious man, and his faith tends to make him lean in a more conservative direction. Yet many of his employees tended to be much more on the liberal side. As a result, we would have these very serious discussions about things ranging from abortion, to presidential politics, to financial matters, all while slinging gyros. And he encouraged it, and participated. It meant a lot to a lot of people. I hope he understands how many people were affected by the way he treated us as employees over the years.

That's all for now.

I think I'm close to running...

So close. I did another great rehab workout on Monday, and I've been slowly, SLOWLY increasing the amount of weight during some of the exercises, and the pain has not come back. Now, the muscle is just sometimes tired, which is to be expected. So are many of the other leg muscles, because they haven't been used in that way in 7 months.

It feels great.

Tomorrow, it's going to be 58 degrees outside. I'm thinking of at least going for a nice walk, and seeing what happens.

Well....at least I've been tweeting a lot more than I used to.

So that's good. Follow me! @mikecation.

As for Tulsa...I will go if the station approves the approximately $200 it will cost to drive out there in terms of gas. I'll have room and board with the Stacklers, and would love to have the opportunity to go, no matter whether Illinois loses first round or not. The NCAA tournament is just so much fun.

That's all.

I think Holly asked for my poker blog address...it is now on the right side of the links over there!

So, I now have a poker only blog:

If you want to read more of my blog updates, I'll try to keep the minor things over there. Bigger things, here.

Quick poker blog:

I barely played this month. That being said, I had my best month since October. I ran hot, sure, but also played very smart when I actually had hands. So I can't be upset. I'm up about 12 bucks for the month. Not much, I know, but considering the horrible November-January I had, to be profitable is good. My overall bankroll is at $233. That's awesome. A year ago, I had less than half that. I'm proud of my development.

I've also got some goals to shoot for from now until September:
-Watch 1 video per week. It's a must.
-Once I hit the second week in May, every Tuesday, I'm going to get home early from work, take a nap, and play the big Tuesday day tournaments. I want to do it every single Tuesday. That would be a huge thing for me.
-Once we hit that time frame, I want to spend one day of each weekend playing for 4 hours. I want to put myself to the test, and really grind, and increase my brain's ability to process the information. So that's the way to do it.

OK. Bankroll at 233. Only 767 left to become a thousandaire.

One of the biggest disappointments that I'll ever have:

That my singing of the national anthem last Thursday at the Illini Wrestling match was not filmed in any way, shape, or form.

OK, so in case you didn't hear, yes, I sang the anthem last Thursday. To summarize, as I was reading off the senior day intros and stuff, Tim, the Event Management person, started to freak out because his music computer broke. At the same time, James Big Poppa Morton, Tim's boss, went looking for the backup national anthem CD, but it was nowhere to be found. At this point, both of them were a bit in panic mode, which put me in panic mode. James tried to tell me that maybe if I just got everybody started, it would be OK.

Well, I decided that if I got things started, I would just have to do it.

So I did.

It wasn't the greatest thing in the world, and I definitely wavered a bit, but I think it was close to being on pitch, and I remembered all the words. Now that I look back on it a week later, I'm actually very proud of myself. I was extremely nervous, but didn't freak out, and just blasted through it. And I'll always have a great story to tell.

Other notes: I've been ridiculously busy, and haven't played a lot of poker. That's not good.
I got an iphone 3. $50. Nice. Switched over to AT&T in the process, which is fine. I liked t-mobile, but not enough to have brand loyalty or anything.

I'm trying to tweet more. If you are so inclined, feel free to follow me!

Please note:

The list of meats used in the Grilling of the Meats to the side. They were all spectacular. I don't even know who made the porkbellies, but holy crap was it delicious.

My car managed to break again. Something snapped on the undercarriage (which I like to say too much...undercarriage), and is currently dragging on the ground while I drive. Haven't had time to fix it quite yet, however.

I'm thinking strongly about my next tattoo...a block I and a microphone. I don't know if I want to get it now, or when I'm done announcing.

My new intern starts this morning. I'm excited to have a little bit of intern help, but it should be a good amount of training to get her up to speed.

Mike

Day after the Blizzard

I like Lil Wayne.

I wish he performed fewer songs, so he'd concentrate more in each individual song.